My Night as a Hobo

So last night a spent the night as a hobo. I was studying for a math class with some friends until 2 am and when I came home I found that my roommates had locked the deadbolt. Not a problem! I have a key! I plug my key into the lock, turn it and hear a funny click noise which stops my key from completing the turn. Hmmm...maybe it was the other direction? So I try to turn it the opposite direction and it doesn't budge. Then I try to yank it out and it still is not moving. I yank for a good 3 minutes, but it's so darn diddly dad-gum cold that my fingers ache and all I can think about is getting warm ASAP. So I ring the doorbell a bunch of times, hoping my slumbering roommates will wake up and have pity on their shivering friend standing in her pajamas on the doorstep. No one answered that, so I called each one of their cell phones a dozen times with no answer (one of them even turned off their phone, which kind of irks me). Not wanting to leave my car key stuck in the door, I rip the deadbolt key off the ring and flee to the complex lounge where there is relative warmth. The lounge has a couch, a tv, and a ton of washers and dryers. I locked all the lounge doors and huddled on the couch, hoping sleep will come before my imagination gets the better of me...but I swear I kept hearing someone in the room. Over and over again the "rape" cheer my crazy roommate taught me played in my mind: "Stop! don't touch me there, this is my private square. R-A-P-E, get your hands away from me!" So I turned on the TV and thought that maybe I'd fall asleep to that. It's VERY cold in there, by the way. I watch Leno, MASH, a P90X and a tummy shaper info-mercial. I STILL can't sleep. It's SO cold!! I remember I have laundry in the washer and that I have one piddly quarter to dry it as much as possible. When the dryer is done, I stuff one of my newly washed pillow cases with damp clothes to use as a pillow, and use another pillow case as a blanket. After shimmying into the pillow case (which hardly made me any warmer) I finally fell asleep, waking up every couple hours because I'm having crazy dreams that I'm homeless because I'm the lady with the octuplets and I don't have a job. Morning finally comes...I repeat the doorbell, calling roommate routine with the same results so I stumble to work in my jammies with nappy hair and unbrushed teeth. Gahh...I have so much empathy for the homeless.