My Psycho Life

You know you have a crazy life when:

*Everything you say after you've introduced yourself to someone requires an explanation.

*People are as fascinated with your life as if you came from another country or planet.

*People think you're lying.

*After you've told someone something especially crazy they respond with, "huh, well you SEEM normal...I never would have guessed."

*You have no idea what someone is talking about and you KNOW it's something that you should know (e.g. "A-day and B-days", "Chicken Cordon Bleu", etc.)

It's funny, I realized the other day that I have said the same old explanations for everything probably about a million times, because I always get the same questions. It typically goes like this:

Homeschooling

Curious Person: "So you were H-H-H-Hoooomeschooled? How did you like THAT?"

Me: "I liked it. Of course there are pros and cons to everything but overall it was good."

Curious Person: "Ooooh. But what about a SOCIAL life?"

Me: "I had to work a little harder at it but I wasn't shut up in the house all day." (Not necessarily true, but who needs to know?)

Curious Person: "Do you wish you weren't homeschooled?"

Me: "No, I actually really enjoyed it and wouldn't be who I am if I weren't."

**By this time they get really uncomfortable and change the subject. Phew, close call. I lose all dignity if they ask anything about math. One crazy thing down, 3 more to go. After the homeschooling question fizzles it inevitably leads into . . .

9 Siblings

Curious Person: "Well that's interesting...so how many brothers and sisters do you have?"

Me: "3 brothers, 6 sisters."

Curious Person: "Were ALL of them homeschooled????"

Me: "Ummm...yes."

Celiac Disease

Curious Person: "Want a doughnut?"

Me: "Bwee, I can't."

Curious Person: "You're not fat."

Me: "I know... I'm kind of allergic to grains."

Curious Person: "Really? Does your face swell up and your throat close and you die?"

Me: "No...it's more like an autoimmune disease that will eventually give me cancer and THEN I die if I eat your doughnut."

Curious Person: "That sucks."

I got my Driver's License at 21

Curious Person: "Why does your license say you got it last year...?

Me: "Uhhh...I just learned how to drive."

Curiuos Person: "WHAT? Why?"

Me: "I don't really know...I'm pretty sure it's because we only had one vehicle and my parents didn't want to pay for my insurance. Either that or they didn't want me to go anywhere." (Which brings me back to the "did you have a social life" question in the homeschooling dialogue.)

Eventually, people get over these things and just shrug their shoulders and say, "whatever, she's weird" and we go on being friends. But I can imagine this doesn't paint a pretty picture in the mind of prospective husbands. I'm sure I should just avoid these topics until the 5th or 16th date, but I have a tendency to "lay it all down" on the first date. I figure, why waste our time? They should know what their up against NOW instead of LATER, right? It gets to the point where you can actually see the Xs being marked on the marital checklists in their minds. So it seems as if I will most likely marry a Homeschooled Celiac dude with 5,000 siblings who didn't get his license until after his mission. Either that or someone with a CRAZIER life...like a fruitarian polyg with a million wives instead of siblings who doesn't have a license at all because he only drives covered wagons. Shudder...I hope not.